Thursday, September 15, 2011

"How to Become Disillusioned with Finding Love"

I'm not sure how or where, but quite some time ago, I discovered a blogger. "I am Fickle Cattle" is the name of his blog. He maintains a very liberal, opinion-filled, entertaining blog. Fickle Cattle is an extremely talented writer. I so appreciate a good writer. My sister is such a beautiful writer. I wish she would blog more (ahem). Anyway........

He wrote a post today. Entertaining and interesting.
This is me, re-posting the entire thing.
Many thanks, Fickle Cattle.

How to Become Disillusioned with Finding Love
Written by: Fickle Cattle

Watch Hollywood romantic movies.  Believe that everyone has a one true love.  Etch into your soul the conviction that you will find that one guy who will inevitably accept you for everything that you are.  Who will love you unconditionally and without question.

Create a list of the qualities the love of your life must have. Set high standards.  Reach for the stars.  He must be tall, handsome, brooding and mysterious.  Intelligent and quirky.  Wealthy.  He must go to the gym regularly. He must have dimples dotting his face when he smiles. His hair must fall a certain way all the time.  

Envision showing him off to your friends and telling them how you fell in love with him because of his lovable personality, or because of how good a person he is.  How you fell in love with the way he laughed.   Or touched your hand.  Or played with your baby sister. Or any other quirky little habit that remind people of how cute he is. Subtly insert a few anecdotes that show how great in the sack he can be.  

Know that you don’t need to tell them how impossibly handsome, intelligent, and wealthy he is; they would see that for themselves. Imagine seeing your friends’ eyes widen with envy.

Stamp down any notion that there might be something wrong with you.  That’s impossible. Remind yourself that you are perfect, or as close to it as anyone can be.  You deserve this, and you deserve someone like him. Cosmopolitan said so, and it can’t be wrong.

Go out on date after date after date.  Constantly be disappointed. Rejection, both rejecting and being rejected, makes you cynical. Build up walls. Surround yourself with the emotional equivalent of a moat. Insult people, and point out how they can never live up to your standards.  Stop dating. Or date with the knowledge that these people will only prove why you are better off single in the first place.

Watch Hollywood romantic movies only so you can make contemptuous comments on the stupidity of their plot. Smile patronizingly at friends who believe in a one true love.  Remind yourself that it doesn’t exist.  That it couldn’t exist. That its existence would imply that there might be something wrong with you.  And that couldn’t be true.   Convince yourself that you like being alone.  No, that you love being alone.  That you don’t feel lonely, and that whatever hole you feel in your life can be filled up by friends and family.  Sleep at night with the nagging sentiment that you are missing something, and hope for the best that things will be better in the morning.


Lauren said...

When I saw the title of your blog, I thought to myself, "There is NO way Brooke is writing about this!" PS. Totally loved your message about Tay G and Mario.

The Student Traveler said...

I absolutely love this!

Erin Blake said...

Brooke- this guy left a comment on my blog once. I am like- who is fickle cattle leaving a comment on my blog? Of course I linked to his blog and I agree about him being a good writer and liberal.

Fickle Cattle said...

Thanks for the link love Brooke. :-)

Fickle Cattle

Erin Blake said...

ok that's weird.

Susan Deborah said...

I follow Fickle cattle and through his page I came over here.

Neat blog.

Joy always,

Jocelyn said...

Man, I couldn't agree more... I will have to follow this dude. He knows his stuff. Is he single? haha kiddin...