Saturday, January 23, 2010

Communication at its finest.

There are a few types of people in this world. Two of them include a) confrontational people, and b) non-confrontational people. I just happen to be a confrontational person. This can be a good and bad thing. Why do I prefer confrontation? In my opinion it's a more quick, efficient, and less problematic way of communicating. I was raised in a family where we openly and respectfully discussed issues or decisions we made together on a weekly basis. As you can imagine, it has been an interesting ride living with a new group of people each four months for the last two years of my life. Maybe you have seen learning situations similar to these as you've lived with different groups of people as well:

- Room mates learn what TO and NOT TO joke about.
- Room mates learn what they CAN and CAN'T borrow from each other.
- Room mates learn what boys they ARE and AREN'T interested in.
- Room mates learn who DOES and DOES NOT enjoy the heat at full blast each night.
- Room mates learn who CAN and who CAN NOT sleep through noise.
- Room mates learn who ARE and ARE NOT happy campers in the morning.

Each day you live with someone, you learn more about which buttons you can and cannot push. However, no matter how well any group of people get along, there will always be some form of friction from time to time. This is where my rant on confrontation comes in.

CONFRONTATIONAL people tend to say what they feel, address problems openly, and get to the bottom of things. NON-CONFRONTATIONAL people tend to beat around the bush, remain frustrated to themselves, and often times never solve or even address the problem.

One of my favorite encounters with non-confrontational room mates has involved hand written NOTES. People communicate best in different ways and accommodate to their personalities. These next few tidbits are some stories on confrontation via handwritten notes.

A particular room mate was unhappy that I had left some dishes in the sink to soak- even after completely washing all of the others. I was a little humored when I came home to find a note that said. "Do your own damn dishes!" This room mate was definitely non-confrontational. It was my pleasure to find this on the internet, print it, and tape it right next to her note:

This individual was frustrated with my paraphernalia I had left on the kitchen counter. Side note: I am NOT the cleanest person you have ever met, but also NOT the messiest either. While I was gone at church, she assumed I had already left for a trip I planned on that weekend. It was interesting to come home (no one else there) and see a post it note on the counter that stated "Everything is Brooke's . . . " After cleaning the counter of everything completely and leaving for my weekend trip, I was highly amused by her followup text message: "Well I'm sure you saw my note. Sorry, I thought you had already left." Nice.

Not too long ago, one of my room mates was frustrated with another room mate for not instantly cleaning off a pan she had used that night to cook onions. I was surprised and entertained to read her note she had left on our kitchen whiteboard: "Whoever left that greasy pan in the sink, it's really rude! It's not very nice to leave things like that for other people to clean." It was very liberating for me to instantly clean the 'greasy pan' and write "Love at Home" under the previous message.

Whether you tend to confront or not, enjoy the weekend. You deserve it.

Oh. And speaking of notes . . . Take a gander at this five star gem my mother found posted in the bathroom of Starbucks this summer in NYC :)


erin noelle said...

I like your blog.

Andrew Gerald Hales said...

funny brooke.

Melanie said...

Shoko, just when I think I can't love you anymore than I already do, I read something like this and wish I could have a little Brookie around all the time!

Lynsie Jae Leinbach said...

brooke, i LOVE this, why you might ask? because it was exactly what last semester was for me. one roommate that left notes when she wasn't happy about something. but she did always leave her dishes out. huh. anyway it gave me a good laugh while reading it. :)

cole linnae said...

i think the phrase 'do your own damn dishes' was widely used in snow hall. i know it was in my room :)

(i'd just come back with the retort..YOU'RE A BULLY! hahaha)

Brooke Shoko said...

erin- thank you :)
andrew- thank you :D
melanie- i miss you and have thoroughly enjoyed your apple butter on toast a few times a week
lynsie- YES. you understand. :)
cole- glad you have enjoyed the fruits of this sign as well. ha.

Si said...

My all time favorite note from MY mom:
"You have nice day."
oh dear my word verification is: oilywomy!

Laurel Rasmusen said...

K, I found your blog through Emily's.. and this post made me pee my pants. SO true! I'm the non-confrontational roommate, but in my defense, I don't leave notes!