"How to Become Disillusioned with Finding Love"

I'm not sure how or where, but quite some time ago, I discovered a blogger. "I am Fickle Cattle" is the name of his blog. He maintains a very liberal, opinion-filled, entertaining blog. Fickle Cattle is an extremely talented writer. I so appreciate a good writer. My sister is such a beautiful writer. I wish she would blog more (ahem). Anyway........

He wrote a post today. Entertaining and interesting.
This is me, re-posting the entire thing.
Many thanks, Fickle Cattle.


How to Become Disillusioned with Finding Love
Written by: Fickle Cattle
<ficklecattle.blogspot.com>

Watch Hollywood romantic movies.  Believe that everyone has a one true love.  Etch into your soul the conviction that you will find that one guy who will inevitably accept you for everything that you are.  Who will love you unconditionally and without question.

Create a list of the qualities the love of your life must have. Set high standards.  Reach for the stars.  He must be tall, handsome, brooding and mysterious.  Intelligent and quirky.  Wealthy.  He must go to the gym regularly. He must have dimples dotting his face when he smiles. His hair must fall a certain way all the time.  

Envision showing him off to your friends and telling them how you fell in love with him because of his lovable personality, or because of how good a person he is.  How you fell in love with the way he laughed.   Or touched your hand.  Or played with your baby sister. Or any other quirky little habit that remind people of how cute he is. Subtly insert a few anecdotes that show how great in the sack he can be.  

Know that you don’t need to tell them how impossibly handsome, intelligent, and wealthy he is; they would see that for themselves. Imagine seeing your friends’ eyes widen with envy.

Stamp down any notion that there might be something wrong with you.  That’s impossible. Remind yourself that you are perfect, or as close to it as anyone can be.  You deserve this, and you deserve someone like him. Cosmopolitan said so, and it can’t be wrong.

Go out on date after date after date.  Constantly be disappointed. Rejection, both rejecting and being rejected, makes you cynical. Build up walls. Surround yourself with the emotional equivalent of a moat. Insult people, and point out how they can never live up to your standards.  Stop dating. Or date with the knowledge that these people will only prove why you are better off single in the first place.

Watch Hollywood romantic movies only so you can make contemptuous comments on the stupidity of their plot. Smile patronizingly at friends who believe in a one true love.  Remind yourself that it doesn’t exist.  That it couldn’t exist. That its existence would imply that there might be something wrong with you.  And that couldn’t be true.   Convince yourself that you like being alone.  No, that you love being alone.  That you don’t feel lonely, and that whatever hole you feel in your life can be filled up by friends and family.  Sleep at night with the nagging sentiment that you are missing something, and hope for the best that things will be better in the morning.

Here's something tender.

"They're In Love, Where Am I?"

The Weepies

[Feel free to disregard the stick figure video.]

I love MT.

I found a blog post that broke my heart.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Letters Between Lovers
(The Things We Leave Unsaid)
By Ashley Shaw

Danny,

It is sunny here,

But not as warm as expected.

Dusty yellow rays bounce off

The shiny red paint

On my car,

But I still shiver.

I never realized how

Cold it could be

In Florida

-Leslie

Leslie,

I, too, am cold.

But for a different reason.

I miss you.

I wish you would come home.

I can still hear your tentative footsteps

Walking through our bedroom.

It still smells like gardenia,

Even though all of the flowers

Have died.

It is brisk here.

Love,

-Danny

Danny,

Yes, I am aware of your brisk temperatures.

Like the cold tone of your letter.

I made it to the beach today

And let my toes drift lazily

Against the water's edge.

I wore my black bikini.

The one we picked out together

In one of those little stores on the

Jersey boardwalk.

I caught men staring at my

Rounded bottom.

I don't know why I'm telling you this.

I chased the seagulls

Into the foaming surf.

It's so beautiful here.

But I still long for home.

I hope you are keeping occupied.

-Leslie

Leslie,

I am keeping busy.

To distract myself from

Thoughts of your hair

And toes and skin and shoulders

And scent.

I feel your ghost in each

Breath I take, and

I keep thinking I see you

Out of the corner of my eye,

Your lips stretched into a smile.

It was so rare to see you smile

During the past few months.

I wish you were here.

Yes, I'm very busy.

-Danny

Danny,

I'm having my lawyer send up the papers.

Please sign them at your earliest convenience.

Why couldn't you just talk to me?

We could have resolved this.

I'm sorry it worked out this way.

Why didn't you just

Love me?

-Leslie

Leslie,

The papers are signed.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could have fixed this,

But I know

I could never be what you need.

I wish I could tell you

How much I love you,

How much I long for you,

How late I stay awake each night

Just thinking of your eyes,

But some things are

Better left

Unsaid.

-Danny

- - -

Post found via StumbleUpon at Daily Love.

I post too many photos.

And it's been a while since I've just written.

LATELY
-An overall consumption of peanut butter concoctions and hard boiled eggs.
-A desire to be completely in or completely out of a relationship. I just can't stand the millions of middle phases. Shades of grey (you know). Date me or not, hate me or love me. I'd rather be doing homework than talking or text-messaging if I know you aren't into this (me). I am not one to waste my time, feelings, or opportunities. Alright?
-Another letter from my brother in the MTC. He is doing great.
-A new favorite film: Source Code. Suspenseful, emotional, catchy.
-Zumba once or twice a week.
-Five new ideas on how to leave this country and where to go from there.

TODAY
-A moment of relief as a peer offered me her extra scan-tron when I realized I had forgotten to purchase my own on a test day. Eek.
-One of the best two-hour naps I have enjoyed in a while.
-Dinner in the front seat of my car. This, for some reason, is something I really enjoy.
-A pep talk from one of my professors.
-An opportunity to hold a human heart, observe, and memorize.
-A very messy bedroom. Are you surprised? No.

IDEALLY
-Brooke Shoko, College graduate. I wish to be a working woman.
-A bungalow with a nice porch. I will own the residence and have one or two room mates. It will have a nice lawn, porch chairs, and a vegetable garden. I will pay the neighbor boy down the street to mow the lawn and scoop the dog waiste (refer to next bullet). My dad avoided teaching me how to mow the lawn growing up. It was a work opportunity he wanted to reserve for my brothers.
-Own a dog. A bigger dog. Maybe a Lab. Some dog that will be my best friend, go on walks with me, chill with me in the kitchen, and be there when I get home from work. I will, by the way, have the coolest job someday. I will make a reasonable living and enjoy being independent. 

REALISTICALLY
-My social life, happiness, and complexion have suffered from scholastic stressors.
-I should be sleeping. Resting my brain, emotions, and spirit. I couldn't fall asleep and so after surfing the internet, attempting to watch GLEE for the first time (which lasted five minutes), and logging onto Skype, I decided to blog.
-Realistically I should have died in three car accidents by now and be nearing the end of my Junior year in college. I am still alive. I am also completing the end of my Sophomore year. Let the good times roll.


BUT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
-Life is good.
-I have enjoyed the little things.
-This blog post was effective in that I most likely roll to one side and be out within seconds.
-Thank you.